Sangmin: Second Meeting

As I continue on my collegiate journey, I am continuously learning the art of conversation, “friend-making,” and connecting with others. It’s been a constant learning process. And, no, I don’t have “friend-making” down to a science; but I can say that there are elements that make connecting with others much easier. As a matter of fact, there are two elements that may seem trivial but, when used in a social context, do much to soften barriers and build friendships. These two elements are pop culture and humor.

I experienced the power of both elements when I met with Sangmin this week. Conversation began more slowly this time around. I asked how his English class was going, what he was learning, what he has been enjoying in America, etc. Honestly, I was beginning to get tired of asking questions and interviewing him as if he were a subject. I knew he was more than that.

Then, somewhere in the conversation, the subject of television came up. He told me that one of his favorite American shows was “Dexter.” I asked if American TV was helping him learn English, to which he responded with a chuckle, “Uh, actually, I watch with subtitles.” I joked with him that using subtitles was cheating, and we shared a laugh.

It turned out that we had both watched the premiere of “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” on ABC two weeks ago. He told me he was disappointed not to see any of the major superheroes on the show, like Iron Man, his favorite Avenger. I told him my favorite Avenger was Thor. Suddenly, the conversation took a turn. We continued our discourse about superheroes, even pointing out interesting novelties we have seen such as the Iron Man MacBook skin and Avengers-inspired lights. Finally, the conversation was no longer an “interview.” We found something we can connect with.

The second element that brought about connection was humor. After telling Sangmin that we were studying humor in Lit and Civ class, we went on telling jokes. I told him a joke my dad, a preacher, had told a Korean congregation when he was invited to speak to them. The condensed version goes a bit like this: a black man and a white man were arguing about what race God is. The black man insisted that God was black, while the white man insisted that God was white. When they entered Heaven, the gates swung open; and God greeted, “Annyeonghaseyo!” Sangmin laughed, because he knew that “annyeonghaseyo” meant “hello” or “how are you” in Korean. Continuing along the same lines, Sangmin told me this joke: a little girl was wondering about the origin of humanity. When she asked her mother where people came from, her mother told her that God created people. When she asked her father where people came from, her father told her that people evolved from monkeys. Confused, the daughter asked her mother, “Why did dad say people came from monkeys?” Her mother replied, “Well, that was his side of the family.”

Our conversation lasted for only thirty minutes. Sangmin and I really didn’t talk about anything substantial at our second meeting, but we did connect. By the end of the conversation, we grew more comfortable with one another; and these connective elements of pop culture and humor also served as the key to opening the door called “friendship.”